I met a girl who had the same name as me. She said I was beautiful and she wanted to be just like me. At first I thought of it (maybe) as a compliment, but I quickly realized it was a dark and twisted thought process. We both had long, dark black hair. With an olive complexion, we had brown eyes and were both rather short. She said she loved the beauty mark above my lip. Once I woke up the next day, I saw her and I said “what’s on your face?” She said “oh that’s a beauty mark I have as well.” Upon closer inspection, I see she shoved a balled up staple to have a beauty mark just like mine. Once I pointed it out to the nurses, they tackled her and she was put in isolation.
Skin, Staples & Bones
I admitted myself because I wasn’t safe on my own.
I was good at hiding it and needed my depression to be shown.
I wasn’t eating and you could see every single one of my bones.
Food was all I could control in my life and it was very much well-known.
My parents did everything they could to try to save me.
It was best for me to be admitted, this we all came to agree.
There was a girl with my same name that I met on my first day,
who said I was beautiful in the most cynical way.
We had a similar complexion and our hair styled with hairspray.
She envied the birthmark above my lip, but I was lost in the message she was trying to convey.
She asked the nurses if we could share a room during my stay.
They said “no we have another room for her and it is right this way.”
They directed me to a grey room and I thought about her while I laid.
It wasn’t until the next morning that we would all see,
Just what she meant when she wanted to match with me.
She shoved a balled up staple into her upper lip and said it was “natural”, but no one agreed.
She was placed in isolation for not one day, but three.
Once she was released, she didn’t do that ever again.
I do get this feeling about my appearance that I can’t quite explain,
Looking in the mirror and thinking of the girl with my same name
And the staple she shoved into her lip even with all of that pain.
I was discharged several weeks after my stay, where they provided me with incredible tools/strategies for my depression. I also met some wonderful people during my stay. Never be ashamed in asking for some help. This was a chapter that greatly helped me in countless ways and improved my quality of life.